Problem with a Product or Service? Be Prepared to do Combat. Really.

Maybe you thought buying a product or paying for a service was it. You spent your money, so you expect something—something that works, something right. According to a 2023 market survey, nearly 60% of customers experience difficulty when resolving issues with companies. If you’ve ever tried fixing a problem with a company, you know the truth: the transaction is only the start, and getting what you paid for is a battle. It’s not customer “service.” It’s combat.

I’ll admit it: I used to believe in being a “nice guy.” I thought if I were polite, explained my problem clearly, and gave the benefit of the doubt, companies would respond. It feels stupid now, like believing in the tooth fairy or winning a carnival game. I tried being nice, honest. It never worked. I was left with no refund, no correction, no replacement. Just a polite brush-off, maybe a canned apology, and me, still holding my broken purchase.

It’s a strange heartbreak, dealing with customer service. You call, wait, and explain. You get transferred. You repeat yourself. Sometimes, you know the person on the other end is just as powerless, reciting scripts, hoping you give up. I’d hang up and feel embarrassed, as if I thought I was asking for something unreasonable.

Eventually, every repeat customer hits this moment: the day you realize being nice wastes time. That’s when you shift from negotiation to combat. I don’t mean yelling or swearing (well, not always), but you stop caring about being liked and start caring about results. It’s almost tragic to act like a jerk just to get what you want, but the only thing that works is sometimes acting your worst.

I wish I could say I’m proud, but I’m not—I’m just tired. Most people who spend hours in the customer service trenches share this feeling. Eventually, you learn what works: raise your voice, refuse another transfer, ask for a supervisor, threaten to post a review, contact the BBB, or take your business elsewhere. Sometimes, get creative.

My favorite move? The attorney gambit. When a rep is about to stonewall, I drop this: “My attorney just retired. His wife hates him, and he’s dying for retirement projects to keep him busy. For attorneys, ‘busy’ means finding someone to sue. From what you’re saying, it sounds like you’re offering to be his next retirement project.” Silence usually follows—and then things happen. It’s absurd, but it works.

Why are things this way? Why do companies reward bad behavior? Maybe there’s a business school reason—limited resources, bureaucracy, the ‘squeaky wheel’ theory. Or they just hope enough people quit quietly, so they only act when someone gets loud. But should you really have to threaten a lawsuit for a correct meal, a working appliance, or a deserved refund?

What makes it worse is that companies should want to keep loyal customers happy. I’ve never understood why they’d rather fight with returning buyers just to avoid paperwork or save a few bucks. It’s short-sighted, and now every service call becomes a cage match.

So, what can you do if this happens? First, escalate. If you’re getting nowhere, ask for a supervisor. If that fails, mention public reviews or consumer protection. Be firm—maybe even theatrical. Occasionally, borderline abusive works (sorry). Remember: it’s not about being liked, it’s about getting what you paid for.

It’s sad, but sometimes you have to fight just to get a company to do the right thing. I wish it weren’t this way. Until businesses see customers as people, not problems, you might have to be a jerk. Maybe one day, being nice will work again. Until then, put your combat helmet and combat boots on. You’ll need it.